So, no offense to anyone else, but I’m pretty sure it’s a fact that I have the most creative children on Earth. (Note: they did not get this gene from me. It’s all their dad, for sure.) When my mom called to wish me a happy birthday on Saturday, she asked if my family had anything planned for me. I assumed she meant cake and gifts, and told her they were out shopping while we were chatting.
“Well,” she said, “I can’t wait to hear all about it later.”
Huh? “Whaddya mean?” I asked.
“Well, didn’t they do some elaborate Harry Potter thing last year?” I have to admit, I had to laugh at myself for not remembering that.
And so, when my husband woke me from a nap and blindfolded me with a silk tie on Saturday evening, I was prepared. 🙂 (Thanks, Mom!)
“Lady of the Lake,” my soft-spoken narrator intoned,” you have been charged with the care of this ring. You are to carry it into the depths of Mordor and cast it into Mount Doom. But first, we will take you through Murkwood, which path no mortal has ever seen.”
(I’m dying at this point, by the way. Lady of the Lake is from Camelot mythology, and I know J will realize that at some point. Also, I’m holding what feels like his wedding ring, and I can hear the boys giggling in the kitchen. I’m trying so hard to take it all seriously for their sake. They’re so hilarious.)
I’m led through “Murkwood”, which turns out to be our dining room arch covered in leaves, my fake ficus tree, and another plant arrangement from the living room.
I’m seated on a dining room chair throne and have a green elvish blanket cloak placed carefully about my shoulders and fastened with a leaf of Lothlorien. I spend a good part of the next hour picking it up off the floor and sticking it back on, because those dang things are NOT supposed to fall off! Then I get to open some of my gifts, which will aid me in my quest:
1) a sword, which glows blue when orcs are near, of course
2) “elvish rope,” or a three-pronged extension cord, which I’ve been needing around the house for a couple of things
3) the “light of Elendil,” or some really fantastic BCBG Max Azria perfume that I fell in love with about three months ago, and then promptly forgot about. Nicely done, honey! (And the bottle did look sort of like that light thingy in the movie. Double score.)
Then I was sent on my way, up the stairs into Mordor, where I encountered Shelob’s lair. That thing actually attacked me!
But I stabbed it with my sword and, wouldn’t ya know it, she was filled with all our favorite candies. (It did, in fact, look just like a spider before it was dismembered. Ha!)
And then we ascended the stairs and flung the ring into Mount Doom.
Then we got to come back and celebrate our victory with cake decorated with a ring and lava (and accidentally lit with trick candles. HA. Ever try to actually PUT OUT trick candles? Oh boy….) And my final gift, hidden in our set of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, was a gift card for my Kindle.
All in all, a very happy birthday. Well done, guys. 🙂