That’s how I’m feeling lately: being pregnant still seems kind of surreal. I’m about 6 weeks along now, but for some reason, part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop. For starters, I don’t *feel* pregnant. I mean, I should–I’m constantly walking around feeling like someone’s punched me in the boob. And I occasionally feel a tad nauseous, despite the B-6 and Unisom cocktail I’m taking every night. But the twinges and cramps I’m having make me nervous. What if it’s an ectopic pregnancy? What if I have a miscarriage? What if…um…. I don’t know. But I spend about half my time lately worrying.
I think it all comes down to being ill-prepared, mentally: I know better than to be excited about the pregnancy part this time. It takes forever, and I feel like a whale most of the time. What’s to be excited about? And, as it happens, the one thing I *did* have myself all prepared for was an huge, uphill battle to conceive. Having PCOS means possible progesterone, FSH, and Clomid injections, and I knew from the start that if I needed more help than that, I wasn’t going to pursue it. So I guess it’s coming as a shock that for the second time, I got pregnant right away. That’s the one thing I hadn’t counted on. Anyway, I’m hoping that a visit to the doc in two weeks, and hearing a real heartbeat in there, will make it seem more real.
Regardless of all that, though, I’m buying things for the baby. I got a new crib (but here again, I haven’t set it up yet…just in case. Isn’t that horrible?), and lots of fabrics to use on it and the bassinet.
I wish I could have found more modern prints, but I was going for a specific color scheme to match the drapes I have in that room (the plaid at the top). The walls are painted a really pretty “Caribbean Blue”, and I love that plaid against them, so I’m hoping I’ll like the finished quilt.
Then, to bring out the light green and make it the more dominant color, I got coordinating prints for a dust ruffle and diaper organizer.
It’s kind of hard to picture all of this together just looking at it in flat-folds, I know. Also, the lighting in the quilt pics is weird–the solid light green in those is the same as the solid in the pic just above. They all coordinate better than it appears they might. Anyway. I promise to take pictures when it’s all done.
I also got fabrics to make a bumper set for my bassinet/travel crib, and the pattern had a cute matching bag set that I loved. I’m using these fabrics for all that, along with some iron-on vinyl to make a changing pad. Who knew there was such a thing as iron-on vinyl?
Speaking of, I’m wrestling with the idea of where to PUT her. (In my brain, she’s a girl. I can’t help it!) We have a lovely room that we’ve been using for the occasional guest, and I’d always intended to put her up there. Now I realize that it’s upstaaaaairs. And our room isn’t. That should make for some exciting late-night feedings. 😐 Oh, well. I just can’t do the co-sleeping thing. I have toyed with the idea of setting up the bassinet in our walk-in closet, though. Does that sound as horrible to you as it does to me? LOL.
The boys are excited, though–Justin included. And Aidan’s been coming up with new names for his baby sister on almost a daily basis. (He’s sure it’s a girl, too. He started randomly asking for a sister right around the time I went off the pill.) He and Jonah were both fans of Charlie, but after I talked them out of that, he started getting really creative. Among my favorites are “Mermaid,” “Chrysanthemum,” and “Bribery.” How he even KNOWS the word bribery, I don’t know! Jonah wants to name her “Joshua.” These kids are right in style with the bizarro names, but I don’t think we’ll go for it. Audrey Grace is my current front-runner. Though if it’s a boy, Joshua’s not half-bad….