Surreal, but nice.

That’s how I’m feeling lately: being pregnant still seems kind of surreal. I’m about 6 weeks along now, but for some reason, part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop. For starters, I don’t *feel* pregnant. I mean, I should–I’m constantly walking around feeling like someone’s punched me in the boob. And I occasionally feel a tad nauseous, despite the B-6 and Unisom cocktail I’m taking every night. But the twinges and cramps I’m having make me nervous. What if it’s an ectopic pregnancy? What if I have a miscarriage? What if…um…. I don’t know. But I spend about half my time lately worrying.

I think it all comes down to being ill-prepared, mentally: I know better than to be excited about the pregnancy part this time. It takes forever, and I feel like a whale most of the time. What’s to be excited about? And, as it happens, the one thing I *did* have myself all prepared for was an huge, uphill battle to conceive. Having PCOS means possible progesterone, FSH, and Clomid injections, and I knew from the start that if I needed more help than that, I wasn’t going to pursue it. So I guess it’s coming as a shock that for the second time, I got pregnant right away. That’s the one thing I hadn’t counted on.  Anyway, I’m hoping that a visit to the doc in two weeks, and hearing a real heartbeat in there, will make it seem more real.

Regardless of all that, though, I’m buying things for the baby. I got a new crib (but here again, I haven’t set it up yet…just in case. Isn’t that horrible?), and lots of fabrics to use on it and the bassinet.

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I’m using these fabrics for a Mod Sampler quilt. I really liked Leigha’s, where she used tone-on-tone and got such cute squares. I’m doing mine just like that.

I wish I could have found more modern prints, but I was going for a specific color scheme to match the drapes I have in that room (the plaid at the top). The walls are painted a really pretty “Caribbean Blue”, and I love that plaid against them, so I’m hoping I’ll like the finished quilt.

Then, to bring out the light green and make it the more dominant color, I got coordinating prints for a dust ruffle and diaper organizer.

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It’s kind of hard to picture all of this together just looking at it in flat-folds, I know. Also, the lighting in the quilt pics is weird–the solid light green in those is the same as the solid in the pic just above. They all coordinate better than it appears they might. Anyway. I promise to take pictures when it’s all done.

I also got fabrics to make a bumper set for my bassinet/travel crib, and the pattern had a cute matching bag set that I loved. I’m using these fabrics for all that, along with some iron-on vinyl to make a changing pad. Who knew there was such a thing as iron-on vinyl?

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Speaking of, I’m wrestling with the idea of where to PUT her. (In my brain, she’s a girl. I can’t help it!) We have a lovely room that we’ve been using for the occasional guest, and I’d always intended to put her up there. Now I realize that it’s upstaaaaairs. And our room isn’t. That should make for some exciting late-night feedings. 😐 Oh, well. I just can’t do the co-sleeping thing. I have toyed with the idea of setting up the bassinet in our walk-in closet, though. Does that sound as horrible to you as it does to me? LOL.

The boys are excited, though–Justin included. And Aidan’s been coming up with new names for his baby sister on almost a daily basis. (He’s sure it’s a girl, too. He started randomly asking for a sister right around the time I went off the pill.) He and Jonah were both fans of Charlie, but after I talked them out of that, he started getting really creative. Among my favorites are “Mermaid,” “Chrysanthemum,” and “Bribery.” How he even KNOWS the word bribery, I don’t know! Jonah wants to name her “Joshua.” These kids are right in style with the bizarro names, but I don’t think we’ll go for it. Audrey Grace is my current front-runner. Though if it’s a boy, Joshua’s not half-bad….

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6 thoughts on “Surreal, but nice.

  1. I know exactly how you feel right now. I always felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. At some appointments, I would be sitting on the table shaking from nerves, so convinced that something would be wrong (although I have lingering issues from when I was pregnant with Liam).

    All those twinges and weird cramps are normal. It’s just weird. Pregnancy is weird. Perhaps that explains why my kids are nuts. 🙂

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  2. I have PCOS too and yes some people do have trouble but it depends on your type of PCOS. I have the horrible tummy weight gain from it which is in the 5%, whereas the other 95% apparently struggle to put weight on. Those cramps and pains are just everything stretching out again which no-one told me about when I had my little girl. I had a lot of ligament pain in my groin area and was always worried and could hardly walk somedays, but no it was just my body trying to cope. I am sure everything will go well and yes everyone has those thoughts which is normal, the more you know the more you worry dont you. I love the name Audrey Grace, just beautiful. I loved Grace when I was pregnant but my partner didnt so Isabelle Rose she became! You know when you see the baby what names suit I think. Cant wait to see what you create out of those delightful fabrics too.

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  3. Lots of people are praying for you and your baby. I don’t think it’s so weird or bad to not be putting up the crib right now. It’s kind of tradition with some families.

    Your quilt is going to be beautiful! I can’t wait to see it.

    And with the size of walk-in closets these days, it doesn’t seem like the weirdest or worst place to put a bassinet. ????

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